Oh dear.

I’ve only recently realized how much I’ve neglect TFC and FB (figure it out). And though I seem to have all the time in the world to catch up and revamp, I simply do not find the motivation to. Ever since the major grounding I got from my parents last year, my sites have been going downhill and I’m worried that I’m going to fade of the graphic design/web-design scene. I love web designing, but I just can’t find the effort or will or need to create anything.

I need to be inspired or to find inspiration, goddammit! I have so much going on around I feel overwhelmed by it all and am unable to SELECT SOMETHING, an idea, terrible or not, and work on it. And the draining task of trying to educate myself in the “wonderful” ways of wordpress seems so daunting. I mean, honestly, have you seen the size of that documentation?!??

I find myself retreating from the realities of the word and fading into the fantasies of my books, it’s an addictive way of me avoiding tasks that need to be dealt with. As soon as you see me pick up a book that I seem intent on reading and absolutely drawn to (think of staying up late, hiding in the bathrooms, just to read the next chapter, and the next, and the next….), know that as a sign of procrastination, neglect and avoidance. Nothing will retrieve me from my trance, and when not reading one might say I seem dazed and unfocused (in truth, predicting what happens next in the book, or contemplating alternative realities).

The mothership commands me to stop wallowing in depression. I must revamp TFC and FB.